Never give up…

As a child I read. I read and read. In fact my memory does not extend far enough back to remember a time when I couldn’t read.

In my early years I read Enid Blyton, from the Magic Faraway Tree and the Wishing Chair to the Famous Five and the Five Finder-Outers.  I read those books over and over and over again. I then graduated to the oh-so-grown-up Doctor Who target novels, giving me a chance to enjoy Doctor Who stories broadcast before I was born or from a time that I could not remember (my earliest TV memory is the moon landing – I think.  My earliest Doctor Who memory is the Sea Devils emerging from the sea – again, I think).  Again I read those novels over and over and over again.

There was a time when I stopped reading Enid Blyton.  I have never stopped reading Doctor Who novels! But in my early teens my reading exploded: Lord of the Rings, the science-fiction stories of Isaac Asimov, Stephen King’s horror novels, the Fontana Books of Great Ghost Stories (can you detect the roots of an obsession with the Gothic?).  And of course Jane Eyre.  My love affair with the Brontës began as a thirteen year-old school boy and I have never lost that particular passion.

‘O’ Level English Literature was a joy: Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre… ‘A’ Level English Literature even more so: Seamus Heaney, The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner, The Go-Between, Othello, Richard II, Songs of Innocence and Experience, Waiting for Godot, and, of course, Wuthering Heights.  I loved every one.  Sometimes some texts more in retrospect.  It took me a while to understand Heaney.  Some texts I adored immediately.  LP Hartley’s The Go-Between and Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights remain amongst my favourite  novels to this day.

So you can picture the scene as I turned up for my meeting with my tertiary college’s career advisor to discuss my choice of university subjects.  What choice? It was obvious.  I was going to read English.  It turns out this was a poor choice!  Apparently I would stand more chance of redeeming Heathcliff than getting a job with a degree in English. Crestfallen I applied to Durham University to read History and Politics (much more career friendly) and spent three, admittedly happy years, choosing modules that would get me as close to literature as possible, immersing myself in student politics, and graduating with a disappointing 2:II.

In the end it was my student political activities that secured me a place on the NHS graduate scheme.  My choice of degree subject was irrelevant.  Who knew? Certainly not my careers advisor.  There began a tumultuous but rewarding career in senior management in the NHS and healthcare more broadly.

Of course I continued to read avidly.  Crime fiction, literary fiction, science fiction, fantasy.  It has never left me.  The desire to visit other times and places simply through the power of the written word.  To enjoy the power of language alone.

And yet I remained disconcerted.  I had an abiding sense of ‘unfinished business.’ I knew I had it in me to excel academically and I was consumed by a desire to return to the formal study of English.

Therefore on being made redundant in 2011 the opportunity presented itself.  Could I take a part-time Open University degree in English Literature and work freelance part-time?  Well, the second ‘part-time’ never materialised.  I worked as a freelance management consultant for three and a half years but nearly always full-time plus.  But I did take an OU degree in English Literature, securing a First in every module that counted towards the final classification.  Those modules were glorious: Reading and Studying English Literature (including Wuthering Heights!), The Nineteenth-Century Novel (my favourite, a chance to academically revisit Jane Eyre, and an opportunity to study George Eliot’s Middlemarch – the greatest novel ever written). Twentieth-Century English Literature, and Children’s Literature.  I loved every one.  It was like being given new, much more powerful spectacles.  My understanding of literature, its importance and its power grew and grew.  I will always be grateful to the Open University.

A year before I was due to complete my OU degree I decided to take another career break.  I held a senior position in NHS England. I had rejoined in 2015 but was struggling with the politics of it all so resigned without a job to go to.  I was determined to make the most of this time and, in addition to completing my OU degree, decided to take a Masters in English Studies at the University of Lincoln.  Oh, the sheer joy of it: Twenty-First century poetry, drama and novels, the Nineteenth-Century Woman Writer (Brontës again – this time the wonderful Anne!), Contemporary American Fiction and a dissertation that looked at Gothic fiction’s response to Trump’s election and presidency.  The staff and students made the year a sublime experience.  One that will stay with me always.  I finished with a Distinction.  One of the proudest achievements of my life, second only to the pride and pleasure I take in my two, amazing daughters.

This journey is not over.  In fact it will now never end.  On the 7th December I was offered a part-time place on the University of Lincoln’s English Studies PhD programme.  I begin on the 6th February.

I feel so blessed.  Thanks to a supportive family and the help of so many dedicated teachers and academics I find myself with the continued chance to study a subject I love with all my heart.

The messages:

1. Ignore careers advice.  Study the subjects you love.  Jobs will come regardless of the subject you choose;
2. Never give up.  Never, ever give up;
3. Always keep a place in your life for the Brontë sisters – they’ll never fail you;
4. Oh – and good luck!